"Why did the head cross the road?"

Today my 5th period class was learning about hyperboles and puns.  A hyperbole is an extreme exaggeration and a pun is a play on words.  During my explanation of hyperbole I told them that a lot of your momma jokes are hyperboles because they always exaggerate a flaw that somebody's momma has.  After the explanation of each  I gave my kids the opportunity to make up some examples of each or give some examples that they already knew.  One kid said, "Yo' momma so fat she uses Highway 18 for a Slip-n-Slide." LOL! I cracked up.  The majority of the kids didn't think it was funny.  That was because they didn't know what Highway 18 was.  *smh*  For pun I told them that a lot of Laffy Taffy jokes are puns.  I gave them a few examples then I let them tell me some.  "Why did the head cross the road? To get some Hennessey." *blank stare*  The kids cracked up and I had to laugh too because it was so stupid.  LOL.  A few kids didn't get it because #1 it didn't make sense and #2 they didn't know what Hennessey was.  How do I know this? They asked me what it was. 

Later on in the class we were talking about allusions.  I was explaining to them that an illusion is a reference to a literary or historical event or person.  I told them the story about how my daddy said I had hair like lamb's wool, making an allusion to Jesus.  Well one of my boys didn't make the connection and said that I was still sexy to him even if I had hair like a sheep. *blank stare*  Naturally I had to go into my sexual harassment speech.  Then I told the basketball coach since he plays basketball.  He'll probably run him to death.

6th period was also going over literary terms.  They weren't as fun as my 5th period but that's ok.  I was reading the word and making them read the definitions when we came to the word "mood."  There was a kid in there that wasn't paying attention. 
Me: "Mood."
Kid: "Cow"
Me: "What?"
Kid: "You said 'moo' so I said 'cow'"
Me: "I said mood."
Kid: "Oh"

Needless to say he eventually was moved to the chicken coop.  He didn't have his act together.

Today was a half day so we could get developed professionally.  The topic of this professional development was TST.  This time there was no evil music.  LOL.  We finally got clarification on what we're supposed to be doing and the purpose of TST.  It makes so much more sense now.  We all sighed a sigh of relief at the end of the meeting. 

The buses weren't lined up the same way today so my Asperger's child missed the bus home.  He was so worried.  He doesn't do change well at all.  I just so happen to be walking out of the building and I saw his red shirt.  I walked over and the assistant principal kind of had an "I don't know" look on his face.  I asked him what happened and he spoke a whole sentence to me!  He said he couldn't find his bus because they had a bus change.  Poor thing. He had to call his momma to come get him.  That worried me until he got picked up.  I hope that doesn't affect him negatively.  He was actually progressing quite well. 

Don't forget about the book drive!  We're collecting books, cds, and DVDs to help raise money for the football and basketball facilities.  If you have any books, cds, and DVDs you want to get rid of please contact me.  You can leave a comment here, call me, text me, Facebook me, tweet me, email me, whatever.  I'll come pick up the stuff or I can meet you somewhere.  Since I coach volleyball and we play in the gym I want to help as much as possible.  It costs you nothing but maybe a little gas.  You'll be getting rid of some clutter!  Thanks!

Also the volleyball team is selling tickets to the Belk charity sale for $5.  Let me know if you want to buy 1 or 10.  You can ask me or a volleyball girl.  Thanks!