Candy Coated Turds

Did y'all miss me?  I missed blogging!  I'm trying to figure out exactly what it was that I was so busy doing to where I couldn't blog regularly and I came up empty.  Dah well...

If you're a teacher then you know that your kids can be the biggest, fattest, smelliest turds in the history of America.  They will get on your nerves, make you want to cuss and punch things, and possibly take up drinking and smoking.  You'll want to call them mean things and slap their mommas and daddies for raising such awful children.  Then all of a sudden, they'll do something so sweet it'll bring tears to your eyes and you forget that they just glued their fingers together and busted an ink pen in their mouth.  My 4th period class did just that.  My granny has been going through chemo for her breast cancer.  She had to have surgery to remove the lump and I was slightly worried about the whole situation.  Well a few of the girls in 4th period made sweet cards and sent them to her.  I almost cried reading them because they were so sweet.  They always ask about my granny.  It's funny how your kids take on your cares sometimes and adopt your family as their own.  Granny loved her cards by the way!

Recently, I saw a former student of mine at Kroger.  He was one of those kids that I had to pray long and hard before he came into my room everyday.  He was a dirty, sneaky kid that wanted so bad to be a good kid but that bad kid just kept screwing him over.  He was eventually kicked out of school for his behavior and I never heard from or saw him again.  Anyway, I saw him at Kroger and I didn't recognize him.  He called my name and I had to look twice.  When I recognized him, I stopped and chatted with him.

Me: "So what are you doing with yourself these days?"
Kid: "I'm working down in Magee."
Me:  "Oh yeah, I remember your sister telling me that. You know I teach Susie*"
Kid:  "Yes ma'am.  She said you were a bitch."
Me:  *blank stare*
Kid:  "I told her that you were like that when I was in your class and you probably weren't gonna change."
Me:  "At least I'm consistent."
Kid:  "Yup, well I'm gonna go.  It was good seeing you."
Me:  "Likewise."

Uuuuhh....  How was I supposed to respond to that?!  I just laughed it off.  When I got back to school I told his sister what he told me.  The look on her face was priceless.  LOL.  I haven't had any problems out of her since then.  LOL!  She's scared... And she should be.

My repeater class has been working on state test stuff.  While they're working they like to sing or rap for some odd reason.  They're usually pretty quiet when they do this but not on this particular day.  I wish I could have recorded the foolishness.  I felt like I was at the American Idol try outs minus the good acts.  It was awful.  The only thing I could do was laugh.  Now whenever I hear any of those songs on the radio I laugh.  I can't even enjoy them anymore.

A student in my 4th period was telling the class about her grandpa being on life support when one of my brilliant pookies spoke without thinking.

Kid 1: "My grandpa's on life support."
Me:  "I'm sorry to hear that."
Kid 2: "Why are you sorry?"
Me:  "Because her grandfather is on life support."
Kid 2:  "That's a good thing tho."
The whole class:  *frowns* "What?! No that ain't good!"
Kid 2:  "But I thought life support was when you got money for being old."
Me:  "Uh no.  You get money from child support but not life support. Life support is when you're basically depending on a machine to live."
Kid 2: "Oooooohhhhh...."

They're so silly. 

Third period was a little loud and active the other day and I had to keep telling them to be quiet, sit down, stop touching so and so, etc.  It was getting rather annoying because they had work to do and they weren't working.  Sensing my frustration with them, one of them suggested we play a game.  We played roller coaster.  If you got out of your seat then you died since you fell off the roller coaster.  My response? A big fat blank stare.  Amazingly it worked.  They didn't get up or touch their neighbors.  The second part of the game was that the roller coaster was in the library so they couldn't be loud.  At this point I was just like whatever.  It worked so who cares. 

We're still doing the book drive so get your books to me!  Thanks!