A very "dramastical" entry

A few weeks ago I had a parent conference with the father of a son who's failing my class.  Well, he's failing all of his classes but that's neither here nor there.  Anyway, by the time all of us (teachers) had said what we needed to say the dad just couldn't take it anymore.  He told his son, "Son, you need to make some dramastical changes in the next few weeks!"  Uh, dramastical? What is that?  I usually understand the kids better after I meet the parents.

Yesterday was a fun filled day at good ol' THS. We had the neverending English II subject area test and a fun tornado.  We had a blast!  We didn't leave school until 4:45 because the buses were late getting to the school.  I wouldn't drive in a tornado either. Here's a picture of what we saw:

(photo courtesy of E. Foster)

It was pretty scary.  While this thing was swirling around outside our school the kids' ADHD was swirling around on the inside.  They had already been sitting in one place all day due to testing then a tornado shows up.  Classroom control was thrown out the window and swept away by the tornado.  It was ridiculous. 

In wake of the tornado I figured I should probably go over the safety procedures with my kids.  I told them the whole get on the floor and put your head between your knees speech they've been hearing since kindergarten.  Well, one of my students felt that she needed to assist me in the safety drill.  She told me that you're supposed to get under the desk if the building was on fire.  *blank stare*

My cousin teaches in Memphis and I was sharing with her about the "dramastical" changes that needed to take place in the next few weeks and she had a similar story of parents butchering the English language.  One of her students was apparently bullying the other kids, so they scheduled a parent conference.  During the conference the parent says, "I've talked to her about bulletin these kids."  Wait, what? Bulletin?  I think you mean bullying.  Yeah, there's a difference. 

4 more Mondays!!!  Oo wa! Oo wa!

Oh man!

It's been a month since I've last updated!  It's been a pretty stressful interesting month.  For starters my kid who had a mental breakdown came back to school.  Well, she wasn't ready to be back at school quite yet.  She had a moment (best way I can put it) in my classroom and it really had me on edge.  I cried for about 30 minutes after it was all said and done.  My 5th period kids handled the situation really well.  They were terrified but they remained as calm as they could.  We talked about it next class period and they were so sweet.  Bless their hearts.  She had another moment Monday and it was worse than what happened in my class.  When I found out about it I was instantly drained.  I just wanted to sit and cry.  So I did what any normal person would do.  I called my mom.  She calmed me down as much as possible so I could make it through my class.  The next day I had a kid in my room that was so upset by something that she was extremely tense and shaking.  I also had a kid who said he was going home and take 5 Lortabs.  Being the concerned teacher who was already on edge that I am I went to get the counselor. When I get to her office, the district psychologist is there.  I knocked on the door.  Dr. So and So shoos me away and says "Go away!"  Naturally, this makes me go to West Jackson on her.  Plus I hadn't read I Corinthians 13 that morning.  Anyway, I digress.  I tell Dr. Fancy Pants not to tell me to go away and that I'm an adult, not one of these children.  She proceeds to tell me that she's in the middle of a session and to go away again.  I told her again that I'm an adult and that she will not tell me to go away.  I told the counselor that I needed to see her ASAP.  Dr. Fancy Pants come out of the office trying to reprimand me as a child.  I told her that I was an adult and will be talked to as such.  If she could not address me as an adult then she shouldn't address me at all.  We can talk adult to adult or not at all.  She continued to talk to me in a condescending manner so I walked off.  I heard her ask who I was and I went back to tell her that I was Miss Griffin.  Insert boo boo face.  She was at the school to "counsel" all people that were involved with the kid from earlier and I was next.  Yeah, she ruined that.  She sent her apologies my way and said I could call her if I needed to talk. Uh, why would I want to talk to her?  I called on Jesus, then I called my momma.  My momma came up to the school that day.  Yes, I was stressed out for several days after all of that but don't come trying to help if you're going to be condescending.  Even if I was a child, she shouldn't talk to a child that way.  I ended up taking a mental health day to get myself together.  I couldn't fully enjoy it because everybody's favorite administrator had someone call me 5 times concerning a child that had gotten suspended from school.  If I didn't answer the phone the 1st 2 times you called I obviously didn't want to talk.  I love my kids to pieces but I needed that break.  Don't call me on my day off about something that could have been avoided had the kid did what he was supposed to do. 

Well spring has definitely sprung at my school.  The 1st day of spring was a good one!  My kids were full fledged SILLY.  OMG.  They've been eating gerbil food because they thought it was trail mix.  They told me which brand and flavor dog treats taste the best.  Oh and did you know that it's ok to eat rabbit as long as it wasn't your pet?  You can't have a pet rabbit or previously had one either.  That's just weird.  Tuesday was even better.  There was a, uh, lover's quarrel in the courtyard that was just beyond nuts.  Girls fighting over girls, boys wanting to be girls helping the girls fight, everybody just all over the place.  Anyway, they get all the parents called to come get the girls and the parents had some things to say... LOUDLY.  I was sitting at my desk while my kids were working.  All of a sudden I heard all kinds of profane language.  I jump up from my desk because I thought the girls had gotten back into it.  Nope, it was a momma.  She was going to whoop everybody's *** (her words).  I promptly went back in my classroom and locked the door.  She wasn't coming over to Room 300!  Random exciting events like this continued to happen the rest of the week. 

Today, my repeaters were especially silly, if that's any different than normal.  Somehow the subject of hygiene came up while they were working on their subject verb agreement activity.  I was telling them that they have to wash because nobody wanted to smell them.  I continued to say that if you're heavier than most you have to move stuff around and wash under stuff.  Sometimes you even have to put deodorant in places other than your armpits.  During this conversation a kid leans over to a chubby kid and tells him, "Ay, when you get out the tub make sure you lift up your man boobs and put some deodorant under there."  LOL.  Now y'all may be wondering why I'm laughing but you have to know these 2.  They fuss like this all day everyday.  They're 2 peas in a pod.  If they're separated, they're sick.  They have to be in each other's face all the time.  It was just so random that it made me laugh.  Then once everybody got settled the same kid caught something and just jumped up and started dancing.  There was no music.  He just got up and started jigging.  All I could do was watch in utter confusion.  I missed what happened.  It did make me giggle. 

My other classes are writing essays.  One kid wanted to know how to spell drastic.  I told her to look in the dictionary.  She does that with no luck.  I ask her if she was looking in the dra's and she had this puzzled look on her face. 
Kid: "Look in the Ds for drastic?"
Me: "Yes, it's spelled drastic."
Kid: "Oh... I was looking in the Js."
Me:  "For Jurassic huh?"
Kid:  "Yeah."

I don't what's more sad.  The fact that I knew where she was going with that or the fact that she thought drastic was spelled with a J.  Another kid asked if Oklahoma was a state or a college.  This is our future!  8 more Mondays people, 8 more Mondays.

"I didn't know they had their own language!"

Today during 6th period we were watching a documentary entitled "The Last Days."  In this documentary, Steven Spielburg follows 5 survivors as they go back to their homes for the 1st time since they were expelled from their homes.  They tell about their experiences before, during, and after the holocaust.  Also in this documentary Spielburg interviews 3 American soldiers who help liberate the camp and a Nazi doctor who performed experiments on the Jews.  While interviewing the Nazi doctor, who's speaking German, one of my bright little crayons had an epiphany.  "I didn't know they had their own language!"  The rest of the class just looked at her like "seriously?"  To this she replied, "I just had a dumb moment, huh?"  Uh yeah, you did.

Last week I was talking to my students about how I support all the different organizations at the school by going to games/events, buying t-shirts, or whatever else to support.  One of my kids asked if I was going to support his organization.  I asked what organization.  "PNO"  Me: "PNO?"  Kid: "Yeah, PNO: Poor Nigga Organization."  Me: *blank stare*

I need to brag on my homeroom.  Today the secretary was out so I checked in the kids on behavior plans.  The bell rang while I was still checking them in.  I could still see my kids because I was right across the hall.  Anyway, my assistant, as I call her, came over to ask where my attendance was.  She checked roll then passed out the worksheets for them to work on.  When I got to the room they were working semi quietly without me having to tell them what to do.  I love my kids!  They know what to do even if I'm not in the room.  How many teachers can say that? 

Vocabulary word: corridor
Kid: "I thought corridor was that stuff that pants are made out of?"
Me: "No, that's corduroy."

I stole this from someone on Facebook:  I think this is a great idea!

Are you sick of highly paid teachers?
     Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit!
We can get that for less than minimum wage.

     That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).

     Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE....
That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

     What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.
Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!
The average teacher's salary (nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days = $277.77/per day/30
students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

This is for all you people who say we're just glorified babysitters.  Pay us like babysitters then!  Thank you and good night!

Full Moon

Full moon + warm weather = A school full of exhausted, stressed teachers.  So much happened today that I'll be up all night trying to blog about it.  I've already cried once and stopped tears twice so I think it's just best to go to bed.  Here's a brief overview:

1. A kid that I had been working with and encouraging had a bad mental breakdown and is now in a facility.  That has been heavy on me today.
2. Two more of my kids are moving this weekend due to an unstable home life.
3. Pregnant kids. 'Nuff said.
4. Several angry kids
5. Lots of shouting and profanity
6. Kids left their common sense at home
7. SPED kids didn't take their medication today
8. Several cellphones going off at the wrong time
9. Angry mommas
10. Kid's mother passed away

So yeah, I'm drained emotionally and physically.  This is the type of day that makes me want to come home, black out the windows, get in bed and pull the covers over my head and hide.  Tomorrow is Friday.  I hope it's kinder than Thursday. 

If you haven't already told me who you are and where you're from please do so.  I want to see where y'all are from.  Thanks!

Conference Notice

It's that time of year again!!!  It's time for parents to all of a sudden care about their kids' grades and we have a gajillion parent conferences a week.  Yay!  I shouldn't complain though.  At least some of the parents care enough to schedule a conference.  I had a conference with one of my repeaters mom the other day.  It was the first contact/conference I've had with her since August 2009.  I wanted to ask her did she just realize that her child has failed most of his classes and is repeating but I didn't.  I provided my input very nicely and left the conference.  The child came to class today unchanged.  Whenever my parents would have conferences with my teachers, I'd act right at least the next week after the conference.  I had to at least make it look like I was trying.  It's all a part of the game.  *Sorry momma and daddy*  Anyway, this kid was obviously unscathed by his momma's yelling and fussing.  Oh well, he can have his same desk next year.

Monday was Valentine's Day and love was in the air.  Girls walked around with their teddy bears and boys shyly placed roses and other gifts on the girl of their little 9th grade dreams desk.  *Sigh* It was so sweet in a pubescent teen kind of way.  I even got little happies from my kids.  I ended up with 3 roses, a teddy bear, and a coffee mug.  It was kind of funny to watch my boys give me their gifts.  They were embarrassed or something.  It was cute.  I'm just glad they thought enough of me to buy me happies.  I have them all on my desk on display. 

I've been reading about teachers getting fired/suspended for blogging or Facebooking about their kids.  This naturally caused me to think about what I was doing and double check what I'm saying.  I decided to investigate a little bit and see what all the commotion was about.  Uuummm, they were obviously absent the day in teacher school where they talked about some stuff you just don't say because you don't know who hears you.  Then the word LAWSUIT was used.  I paid attention that day because I like having a job.  Everything those teachers said may have been true but it's the way they said it.  I'm not picking sides (I love my job) I'm just saying that they should have used a little discretion.  I get free speech and blah, blah, blah but if you make your school look bad or you piss off the wrong group of parents, you can hang it up.  Teaching can be an extremely frustrating and disheartening career and it's real easy to get caught up in griping and complaining about lazy kids, unsupportive administrators, and parents.  We just need to be careful that we don't lose sight of our purpose in the classroom.  Those kids need us and if we're full of negativity, we can't be effective in teaching them.  It may be cliche but it really does take a village to raise a child.  We see our kids more than some of their parents see them.  We play a huge part in their development.  If you feel yourself getting irritated, take a mental health day.  It'll do you and everyone around you some good.  I've taken mental health days before and I felt better when I returned to school.  And if you must gripe (I'm guilty of it myself) don't put it on the internet.  Save it for a close friend or your mother.  I call my momma everyday after school to tell her about my kids.  She lets me fuss, gripe, and be frustrated then we move on.  *gets off soapbox*

My school is having a book sale to raise money for our athletic facilities.  The date of the sale is March 5th and will take place in the cafeteria.  Come out and support us as we try to raise money!

I got asked today how many followers I had following my blog.  I have no idea!  I'd like to see how many people read my blog.  If you will put your initials and maybe a city or state so I can see where you're coming from!  Thanks!

"I don't even know who my daddy is!"

As you all know we've been studying the holocaust in Room 300.  There are some instances in the story that we're reading where Elie stands by and watches his father get beat.  I asked my kids if they would just stand there and watch their fathers get beat and do nothing.  The majority of them said they would because they're daddies just donated sperm.  The rest didn't know their daddies.  I was like wow...  I wasn't shocked because I deal with that every year.  I just somehow forget.  It's a reality that they have to live with. 

Today my 3rd period class made it to the part in the story that references Job.  I asked if anyone was familiar with the story of Job. 
Kid 1:  "Yeah, he that dude that got swallowed by the fish."
Kid 2: "Nuh unh! He got ate by a lion"
Me: *palm to forehead*

Needless to say I had to explain to them who Job was.  I don't guess they teach Bible people in Sunday school anymore. 

Fridays in teacher land are like Christmas.  Every teacher looks forward to Friday.  However this Friday could have been kept.  It started off with sick bus driver.  Once that was handled there was a few minutes of calm.  Once the homeroom bell rang, the fun began!  I entered my room to a student using profanity.  I told him he owed me a quarter for his language.  He got really upset and continued to curse.  I quickly realized that he was upset about something and let that issue go.  I started asking what happened and he continued to be upset and cursing.  He went to the office to cool off.  I got the class settled then stepped across the hall to the office to find out what happened.  When I got in the office there were a gajillion people in there.  I began helping the people in the office (the secretary was helping an administrator) all while checking on my kids and figuring out what was wrong with angry kid.  Apparently someone had stolen angry kid's money yesterday after football practice 6th period.  He had an idea of who did it so he was mad at that kid and he was going to "get him."  I talked to them both, got them calm, and sent them to class.  First period went by pretty calmly.  Third period was full of palm to the forehead, "you don't get to talk anymore" moments.  They were having all types of brain farts.  And then one kid had the nerve to try and cheat on his test.  Sad.  Fifth period was actually ok.  Then there was 7th period.  *sigh*  My SPED child was just really on my nerves today.  I'm not sure that she's been taking her medicine lately because she's been more hyper than normal.  Anyway, she came in the room yelling, talking about a sucker, telling her classmates they were too loud, calling my name 50 gajillion times, etc.  I told her to sit down and be quiet.  She continued to do all of the things I just mentioned.  I had to raise my voice at her and it shocked her and everyone else in the class.  I never yell at her.  Wednesday and today she had just run me ragged.  I had to apologize to her for yelling then explained to her that she needed to calm down because she was disrupting class.  She understood and left the room to go take her test.  She knew I needed a break.  We get each other like that:).  Once she left my class calmed down a little.  They took their test and did their vocabulary words and for the most part were quiet. Then all of a sudden Room 300 became a circus!  I have no idea what happened and why but they just lost their freakin' minds.  I had to reel them back in quickly.  They calmed down then got back crunk and disorderly.  This cycle continued until the bell rang at 3:45.  I was relieved when the bell rang until I walked into the hall.  Two boys were standing there fussing at each other.  Another teacher was already there telling them to get on the bus and go home but they weren't listening.  They were still talking.  So I got between them, dared them to hit me, and to go get on the bus.  They left and so did I... Quickly.  That doesn't seem like a lot when I type it but it was a lot while it happened.  I finished the day with a headache.  Yay... 

I would like to end on a positive note but I have none.  Maybe Monday.

"Miss G, you're just like my momma!"

Today one of my boys was having a little girl trouble.  So his friends enlisted my help as I am a girl.  His friends were teasing him about being scared to ask her for her number.  His excuse was he couldn't get it then because I'd lock him out of the room and give him a detention for being tardy from lunch.  I told him that he had a few minutes to go talk to the girl.  We were coming back from lunch so we had a few minutes to spare.  He goes next door while the other class was using the restroom.  I sent my spies to see what was going on.  The report they gave was bad.  He was talking to the girl's friend and not the girl.  I went down to the classroom and witnessed it for myself.  I called his name and told him to get the phone number.  He gave me the "I'm working on it" look.  After about a minute or 2 I told him to come back to class.  I asked him if he got the number and sadly he did not.  *palm to forehead*  This is where, according to him, I turned into his mother.  I went down to her class and asked to see her.  I told her that Bob* wanted to talk to her about something.  He died a little on the inside.  I walked off expecting them to talk.  Yeah, he didn't talk to her.  He talked to the teacher standing there.  *big sigh*  When he made it back to the room he proceeded to tell me that I was acting like his mother and had embarrassed him.  LOL.  After class he came running back in the room with a piece of paper with a number on it.  He got the number.  According to his friends he didn't get the number; her friend gave it to him.  My kids...  They bring me much joy.

Last week we had the reality fair at our school.  The reality fair is where they basically give the kids a glimpse of the real world or life after high school.  They are given a salary and jobs based on their GPAs and are required to buy a house, pay bills, buy a car and groceries; basically do what adults do.  At the end of the "month" if they have money left, they get a Payday candy bar.  If they have no money left they get a Zero candy bar.  It's a really good real life connector and the kids usually come away from it with a better understanding of why school is so important.  My repeaters were given the opportunity to go again because obviously they didn't get it the 1st time.  I was passing out their sheets with their info on it and I ran across one GPA that just really caught me off guard.  Y'all ready for this?  One of my repeaters currently has a......
0.38!!!
How the heck do you have a 0.38 GPA?!  What do you do at school everyday?  Why do you come to school?  I'm hoping there was a mistake in the calculation of her GPA because that doesn't make any doggone sense.  Her monthly salary was $800.  She won't make it...

Today my Asperger's kid told the story of Job to the class.  They listen so intently when he speaks.  It's really cute.  We were reading Night by Elie Wiesel, which is about the holocaust.  The main character made a reference to Job in the Bible.  I figured my kids didn't know who Job was so they couldn't make the connection.  However, I asked the class anyway if anybody knew about Job.  One kid told me he led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the land of milk and honey.  Wrong Bible character kid.  Anyway, my Asperger's kid gave the right answer.  His other teachers are always so shocked to hear that he speaks in front of the class.  Apparently my class is the only class he does that in.  It's probably because I make him talk.  LOL

That brings me to my next thought for the day.  At the beginning of each new school year teachers are told not to smile until December.  We're told that because apparently there's a connection between smiling and weakness.  Yeah, I thought it was silly too.  I start the year off with a smile so I can smile all year.  As a teacher, you have to develop a relationship with your kids.  I have a relationship with my kids.  That's why I was able to kid around with the kid from the first paragraph.  He thought it was funny and so did his classmates.  I can count on my kids to take care of me or do what they can if/when I need them.  When I go to the grocery store, they carry my groceries out, even if it's just 1 or 2 bags.  When I'm out the eat, they give me their discounts.  At school, they hold doors open for me, offer to carry my lunch box because it looks heavy, ask me if I'm having a good day, ask me what's wrong if I look like I'm having a bad day then ask who did it so they can go beat them up. LOL.  Even if I tell my kids I'm ok and the situation has been handled, they want to know what happened to make sure it's handled.  My kids know what I expect of them and they act accordingly.  I don't do anything special in my classroom other than care about my kids and teach them.  Are my kids perfect all the time? Heck no.  Are they perfect when they need to be? Yup!  It annoys me when I hear my coworkers talking about their kids being hellions, not doing this or that for them, not buying them Christmas presents, etc.  I want to ask them so bad what is it that they're doing for their kids.  Last I checked we're there for them not vice versa.  You have to give in order to receive.  Let me get off my soapbox.  I'll be here all night.

22 school days until spring break!  Oo wa! Oo wa!