Friday the 13th

Do I really need to say more?  Of course I do!

My Friday the 13th started off rather normal and slow, so I thought I was in the clear.  Well, my fifth period class saw things a little different.  I guess their parents figured since it was Friday their children didn't need to take their medications.  How do I know they didn't take their medications?  Because they were all over the place!!!  It started with one kid saying something stupid and it all went downhill from there.

Sentence:  My uncles came to visit.
Student interpretation:  "My un-cles... wait, what? What is un-cles?!"
Me: "The word is uncles. You know like aunt and uncles."
Kid:  "I deserve several stupid slaps for that.  You're going to blog about this aren't you?"
Me:  "Yes."

Next, there was comedy time:
What do you call a computer that can't sing?  A-dell.  (for those of you who are lost, Adele is a singer)

Then there was Twitter time:
Kid 1: "Man, Twitter getting lame now."
Kid 2: "That's cuz you're on there ALL THE TIME!"
Kid 1: "No I'm not!"
Me: "Uh, yes you are. Every time I get on there, I have 50 gajillion tweets all from you. Then you tweet about stupid stuff, 'My toe itches,' 'I'm sleepy,' 'My hair grew a milliliter.'"
Kid 3: "Yeah, and you change your profile picture every 10 minutes.  The one you got up now is funny. *proceeds to imitate pose*
Kid 1: "Shut up! No I don't! Mrs. Scott do you follow Billy? His Twitter name is..."
Kid 3 *jumps up and puts his hand over her mouth.*
Kid 4: "You better quit before you get charged with rape."
Me: "What?!"
Kid 3: "Man, this ain't no white woman.  The most I can get for this is 3-5.  If it was a white woman I'd get 10-20"
Me: *palm to forehead* "What?! You know what, we don't get to talk anymore.  Let's just go to the bathroom."

I mean, where do they learn this from?  Sometimes I want to just go to their houses and observe.  But then, I remember the foolishness that comes out of my kids' mouths and I change my mind. 

My kids are so obsessed with when I'm going to have a baby.  They ask me frequently if I want kids, when am I going to have one, etc. 
Kid: "Mrs. Scott, I want you to have a baby.  Do you want kids?"
Me: "Yes, one day."
Kid: "Does Coach Scott want kids?"
Me: "Yes, he does."
Kid: "Well are y'all even trying to have kids?! Never mind. That was inappropriate, huh?"
Me: "Yup."

"Mrs. Scott, I got smarty-er during Christmas break!"

One of my Facebook friends asked her students to write a paragraph about what teachers do when they go home.  Here's what one kid said:

We obviously die.  What a sad existence...