Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

All this week, my seniors have been acting rather silly.  I mean, they've been sillier than normal, if that's possible.  Anyway, one of them decided to tell a joke. 
"Hey, y'all.  Have y'all seen the movie 'Constipation'? It hasn't come out yet."
I'll admit that I chuckled a little.  Ok, a lot.  It was funny.  Don't judge me.

Volleyball season has kicked off and we've started our season with 2 wins!  I'm so excited for this season because my girls are playing so hard and doing what they know to do.  We're going to win it all!

Tonight was "Senior Sign the Wall" at my school.  I always get a little misty eyed during this time because I had them when they were scared little freshmen and now they're big seniors.  They're about to start applying for college, to start working on the last push to boost their GPAs, and to take the ACT.  They're no longer the scared, quiet little kids I knew.  Some of them have turned out to be really amazing kids that I'm proud to have taught.

Last week I had to call a parent because her son received a detention from me.  Somehow during the course of the conversation she made the conversation be about me and what I was doing wrong and not about her son who was obviously doing something wrong or he wouldn't have gotten the detention.  Then, towards the end of the conversation she said, "He's a little slower than the other kids because being an only child, I sheltered him.  It's my fault that he's slow."  Wait, what?!  I didn't realize that being an only child meant that you'd be slower than other kids.  They may lack some of the social skills that kids with siblings have but it's nothing major.  Poor kid.  His mom has made him slow and he doesn't even know it.

One of my favorite parents has a conference in the morning and I think I might go just for the fun of it.  A conference with this mom will be the perfect start to the school day.  This parent has to be one of the funniest people I know.  She gets in conferences and tells stories from when she was a child and how big and tough her mom was and how her mom didn't let anybody push them around.  It's so much fun!  I usually leave conferences with her in tears because she was so funny.  During on conference, she was going over her philosophy for her kids.  "Get grown, get gone, and own your own home."  She had to come back later and add "and get your own car and leave mine the hell alone."  LOL  She said they got grown, gone, and got a house but didn't have a car so they were bumming rides.  I about hit the floor when she said that.  I go to conferences with this woman just to go.  The last time I went to a conference she asked me why I was there.  I told her that I just wanted to sit in and laugh.  But as crazy as she is she knows how to encourage you when you're down.  When she found out that they had to terminate my pregnancy, she came to the school and offered some encouraging words and a lot of laughs.  That really meant a lot to me.  Other teachers don't really care for her, but I love her.  I haven't seen her much this year and I miss her.  I guess I have to get to school early in the morning, so I can catch her.  I'm due for some of her foolishness. 

Bye Mrs. Scott

Yesterday, during 4th period we were working on combining sentences and I called on a student to come to the board.  I mispronounced her name because well, I don't understand certain types of names. Anyhoo, another student decided that she was going to correct me, so  I had to hit her with a "Bye Felicia."  The other kids stopped working and looked at each other, then looked at me.  Uh, yes, I've seen "Friday" and yes I know who Felicia is.  I guess they didn't expect their teacher to be so cool. LOL

Later that same period, the kids were doing something and apparently I made a lame joke.  The kids hit me with a "Bye Mrs. Scott."  I couldn't do anything but laugh. 

The beginning of every school year is rough on a teacher's body.  Our bodies have become accustomed to lounging around by the pool or on the beach, to taking naps in the middle of the day, and to being just plain lazy.  The exhaustion makes it difficult to get up and put some effort in getting dressed.  Yesterday, I dressed down in my khakis and polo shirt because it was easy and comfortable.  Apparently, my choice of outfit was unacceptable in the eyes of my students.
Kid 1: *whispering* "Is that Mrs. Scott?"
Kid 2: *whispering* "I think so."
*Both lean around to see my face*
Kid 1: *whispering* "Yeah, that's her."
Kid 2: "Hey Mrs. Scott!"
Me: "Hey, y'all!"
Kid 1: "We thought that was you, but we weren't sure.  You look like one of us!"
Me: "Nope, not one of y'all, it's me! I just didn't feel like getting all fancy today, so I put on my khakis and a polo and called it a day."
Kid 1: "Now Mrs. Scott, that is just unacceptable.  You're a veteran!  You should know better.  You're supposed to set the example for the new teachers.  You need to get it together because you need to do better."
Me: *confused*

I mean, really?!  Did I just get reprimanded by 2 juniors?  I thought I looked fine.  I guess I'll be fancy from here on out. 

Ninth graders can be really funny.  Most of the time it's unintentional, but it's still funny.  Today, one of my sweet babies was late to school.  Once he made it to school, he came to class.  I looked at him kind of funny when he walked in late, but I didn't make a big deal about it.  We got started on our work for the day then moved to our kinesthetic activity (eat your heart out Marzano).  Late kid got in a group and started working.  His group finished the activity 1st and was awarded 20 bonus points to use throughout the 9 weeks.  As I was making note of who won, it dawned on me that he was in the wrong class.  That was the reason for the funny look.  In my defense, they've been changing schedules a lot these last few days, so I wasn't 100% sure which class he was in.  Anyway, when I realized that he was in the wrong class, I started to tell him and he cut me off.  He said he knew he didn't recognize anybody in the class, but he didn't know why.  Y'all, he sat in my class almost an hour before he realized that he was in the wrong class!  I wrote him a pass and sent him on his way.  Poor thing had to come back to my class the next block and listen to the same thing again. 

My seniors are working so hard for me.  I'm really excited!  They're going to knock this state test out the water!  In Jesus' name! Amen!

Exit Slip Drama

This year I've decided to do exit slips.  Basically, I give my kids a question or 2 dealing with what we just went over in class to see if they remembered what we just learned.  Friday and Monday they had to write 4 sentences: 1 simple, 1 compound, 1 complex, and 1 compound complex.  Let's just say standardized tests are ruining our kids' ability to write.  Don't believe me?  Take a look at their sentences.

Because I forgot to close the door.
The dog was chaseing that girl.
Because I over sleept I was late getting to school.
My mom was finna cook, but she forgot to get the meat.
Although it was raing; they still walked home.
Sam went to Wendy's because it was nasty he took it back; so the chief had to recook it.
Everybody know lil boosie.
I want a pet puppinuala, but it feeds on human flesh.
Although I am use to eating seafood, I finally ate a peice of chicken, and it was suprisingly good.
She said basketball is funner, but he prefer football.
The teacher scolded him, but she although did he did not make a sound.
Whenever you go home, I will be waiting for you.
I like looking around and I like looking in deep stairs but like playing basketball.

Ok, that's enough.  Y'all... Seriously?  Can we get a senator or a congress person, or somebody to see this and get rid of standardized tests?  This is ridiculous.  I chuckled at 1st, but then it was just sad.  How are these kids in the 9th grade?  Sigh...  I've got my work cut out for me this year!

If I were an animal...

On the first day a school it's normal to play cheesy get to know you type games, and this year was no different.  I decided to steal an idea from my MIL and have them to tell me what animal they'd be and why.  I started it off.  I would be a pit bull because I'm all fun and games until you make me mad, then I'll bite your head off.  Don't judge me.  I had to set the tone for the class.  Anyway, here are some of the memorable responses.

I'd be a fish because my eyes are big.
I'd be a koala first then a lion.  At first I'm kinda shy and cuddly but then the lion eats the koala bear and I'm loud and bold.  It's like a metaphor because the bold lion eats the shy koala, so it's like the shy person dies. (My response was a blank stare)
I'd be an armadillo because I'm flamboyant.
I don't know what animal I'd be because I'm kinda mysterious.  Classmate's response-You can be Batman!
I'd be a flamingo because I'm flexible.

Yeah, it's going to be an interesting year...

I have all 9th graders this year with the exception of my homeroom.  They're seniors.  My 9th graders are awesome!  They came in knowing stuff!  If you teach then you understand how exciting that is.  I had them to do a quick write on what they knew about clauses and they knew a lot.  I did the Tiger Woods fist pump on the inside when they started sharing some of the things they knew.  The great thing is that it wasn't just my honors kids who knew stuff.  It was ALL of my kids.  They all have a good foundation in English. 

I have already started to pick out the clowns in my classes.  During the introductions I had a kid who said he liked to dance.  I had him to come and show us some of his moves.  He starts his routine then he ends it with, "Then I just start sliding and shit."
"Excuse me?"
"I just start sliding and shit."
*giggling from class*
"Um, you do realize that you can't just use profanity in class, especially when you're talking to the teacher?"
"Ooohhhhh, I didn't even realize I had cussed! I'm sorry!"

Like, really, kid?  You cuss so much that you don't even realize when you do it? 

Another kid decided that he was going to give step by step on how to twerk.  He said that the reason most girls can't twerk is because they haven't loosened up their hips.  He then proceeded to demonstrate how to do so.  His introduction was cut short. 

This year I have the honor and the privilege to have a special group of seniors during homeroom.  This group of kids has met all of their graduation requirements except one.  They haven't passed their English II state test.  I have 3 or 4 chances to get them to pass this test.  The first opportunity is September 16 and 17.  We've already started working on some things and I know they're getting it.  I have prayed for them and their minds.  I have prayed for myself and my mind.  I told them that I wanted to see all 22 of them walk across that stage in May 2014 to get their high school diploma.  It's one thing for me to believe that they can pass it, but it's another thing for them to believe it.  I'm asking everybody to get in agreement with me that they'll pass it the 1st time.  I know that I can't do this alone, so pray that I have wisdom on how to teach them.  Pray that they believe that they can do it.  Pray that they aren't anxious or worried about it.  Pray that their memories are blessed.  Pray that we have the mind of Christ.  I know we can achieve many things when we work together, so pray with me.

It's going to be a great year!  In the words of the great Liz Foster: "We're gon' have school at Terry School!"

Meet the Teacher Day

Today was Meet the Teacher Day, the day where parents come around and get a feel for their kids' teachers.  I ended up meeting almost 100 parents during the 5 hour day.  Most of the parents were pleasant.  I had one parent to complain about high school teachers not being very warm and welcoming.  Um... We're not kindergarten teachers.  High school teachers are not known for being extra bubbly.  Now don't get me wrong, there are some that are.  I just don't happen to be one of them.  When I meet parents I put on my business face.  I smile politely and give them the information for my class.  I don't feel the need to hold hands and sing "Kumbaya".  Maybe that's just me.  *shrugs*

In my last post I talked about my severely SPED student and if you know me, you know how much I love this kid.  I had been concerned about his schedule for this year and I had expressed my concern to my husband.  He said, "You know you're not his mom, right?"  LOL. I can't help it.  I love my kids and I have to make sure that they're ok.  Anyway, the secretary came across the hall to my classroom today saying that someone wanted to see me.  I was thinking she was playing a trick on me or that it was one of "those" students.  It was my kid!  His mom said that he insisted on coming to see me today, so she had to bring him.  He said he wanted to be in my class this year.  Can you say melted heart? I didn't think he'd remember me over the summer, but he did. 

I'm really, super duper excited about the upcoming school year.  I've set some pretty high goals for myself that will stretch me and cause me to get out of my comfort zone some.  This will be my 8th year teaching and I feel like it's time to change it up so I can grow as an educator.  There is a new teacher evaluation system out and I'm determined to average 3.5 or higher out of 4.  I've been planning engaging lessons, reading different blogs and sites, and studying MSTAR and Common Core.  I'm really excited about all of it.  Hopefully the excitement won't die down before the end of the 1st 9 week grading period.  We'll see how this goes...

*Disclaimer* High school teachers love their students just as much as elementary and middle school teachers love their kids.  We just have a different way of showing it.  Felt the need to clear that up. 

Have a great year teacher friends!

Reasons Why I Teach

This past school year was a whirlwind of tests, not just state ordered tests, but personal as well.  As I said in an earlier post, I got thrown into English II 3 days before school started.  I had to play catch up in order to be successful.  I eventually found my footing and we (my students and myself) figured it out and made it through the year.  It was oftentimes tough and disheartening when I would look at the practice test scores and the simulated test scores and they SUCKED.  I was panicking most of the year because I was afraid of what they'd do on the real test.  They assured me that they would do better when the actual test came.  Did I mention I had the highest percentage of struggling learners in comparison to the other English II teachers? Yeah... Anyway, I kept my cool and things started looking up.  By April, my kids had started showing promise and everything was going great.  They were going so great that life felt as if it needed to step in and shake things up a little.  I found out that I was pregnant with my 1st child.  Talk about exciting!  My kids were equally excited and took on the responsibility of taking care of me.  The beginning of the pregnancy was tough.  I couldn't do anything.  My kids wouldn't let me stand up, pass out papers, answer my classroom phone, NOTHING.  They put me in my chair and pushed me around the room to help me maintain my pregnancy.  They were genuinely concerned.  At a doctor's appointment, they discovered that Baby Scott was stuck in my Fallopian tube.  I was having an ectopic pregnancy.  I had to terminate the pregnancy.  I went to school and told my kids and they were extremely upset.  They hugged, we cried, and I assured them that it would be ok, that I would be ok.  They stood by me through the whole process.  My OB/GYN scheduled a series of shots to terminate the pregnancy and things started to get back to normal.  We got back on our test prep since the test was a month away. My students still made sure that I was ok and took really good care of me. I still had some pain but I assumed it was from the shots.  I went back to my OB/GYN for a follow-up and wouldn't you know, life had to shake things up again.  The shots didn't work.  Baby Scott had actually grown and was threatening to rupture and damage my Fallopian tube.  I had to have surgery the NEXT DAY to remove Baby Scott and would be out for 2 weeks.  In 2 weeks, the English II SATP would be administered.  That means I had no time to plan, no time to leave resources, no time to get ready for a sub, no time to tell my students what was going on.  My doctor understood and he gave me a day to get ready.  I went to school the next day and told my kids what was going on.  Bless their hearts they were optimistic.  In their minds this was a good thing because that means that Baby Scott was alive and could possibly move to the right place and everything would be ok.  I didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise.  I had my surgery and my students called me every 2 hours to check on me.  Then they called me every day when I got home.  Their calls made those 2 weeks at home a little easier. They assured me that they were working hard for the sub and that they were going to rock the test in honor of Baby Scott and they did:)  People often ask me why I teach.  They say kids are bad, they're rude, they're disrespectful, they're this and that.  I teach because of the genuine love, respect, and concern from my kids.  The love, support, and concern that they showed me during that difficult time meant more to me than anything else.   Now granted there were some kids who couldn't care less about what was going on in my life and they let me know it.  When I told them that Baby Scott didn't make it some of them gave me a few blinks and asked if we could go on with class.  Did that hurt?  Heck yeah it did, but I had more positive experiences than negative so it didn't matter. 

This past year I had the privilege of teaching a student who had cerebral palsy, seizures, and was on the autism spectrum along with other things.  It was a challenge because I had never had a student that severe.  It didn't take long for me to get used to him and for him to get used to me.  His classmates were instrumental in all of that.  They looked out for him.  They made sure he had his notes, included him in class discussions and group activities, and made sure that I didn't overlook him when he was ready to participate.  At first he was just kind of there.  By the end of the year, he knew my name and the name of some of his classmates, he had friends in the class, and some days he was the class clown.  He started volunteering to read (even though he could only read on a 1st grade level), he would raise his hand to answer questions, and he told his classmates he loved them. Ah, that warmed my heart giving me another reason to want to continue to teach.

I hope my post has inspired or re-inspired you to give your best to your students 100% of the time.  It has definitely lit a fire under me.  I plan on giving my students everything they deserve from me from now on.

Back to School!

School has started back and that means new kids, new stories, and new adventures.  Excited? You should be!  As y'all know I spent the majority of my summer on Pinterest and Teachers Pay getting ready for a fun filled year teaching English I.  Weeeeeelllll, on Thursday, August 2 (6 days before school starts) at 3:30 pm all of that planning and pinning was flushed down the drain.  I got moved to English II, which is a state tested course.  *insert panic attack*  I've spent the past few days scrambling around trying to gather myself so I'd be ready for action when school starts.  I have TONS of resources and information, but I haven't had the time to sit and look at it all.  Thankfully one of my English II cohorts has done the majority of the lesson planning for the 1st few weeks.  That gives me a chance to catch up.  On top of all of that drama, it's volleyball season.  Whew!  It's all good.  I know that God placed me in the position for a reason, so I just have to lean on and trust Him and know that I'll get through this.

School has been in session for only 3 days and I already have stories.  While we were reviewing literary terms and devices the following took place:

Me: "Connotation is the emotion behind a word.  If you're trying to hurt someone's feelings you wouldn't say, 'You're so big boned.'  You'd say, 'You're so FAT!'  That's because the connotation or emotion behind the word fat is negative, whereas big boned is neutral.  But let me let y'all in on a little secret: bones don't jiggle, that's just fat."
Kid 1: *looks over at Kid 2*
Kid 2:  "Man, get out of my face. I'm not fat! I'm big boned for real."
Kid 1:  "I ain't never seen a skeleton with big bones. And bones don't jiggle!"
*Whole class erupts in laughter*

I mean, I shouldn't be mad because they were paying attention to something, right?

It's going to be a great year if these types of things keep occurring.  LOL