Friday the 13th

Do I really need to say more?  Of course I do!

My Friday the 13th started off rather normal and slow, so I thought I was in the clear.  Well, my fifth period class saw things a little different.  I guess their parents figured since it was Friday their children didn't need to take their medications.  How do I know they didn't take their medications?  Because they were all over the place!!!  It started with one kid saying something stupid and it all went downhill from there.

Sentence:  My uncles came to visit.
Student interpretation:  "My un-cles... wait, what? What is un-cles?!"
Me: "The word is uncles. You know like aunt and uncles."
Kid:  "I deserve several stupid slaps for that.  You're going to blog about this aren't you?"
Me:  "Yes."

Next, there was comedy time:
What do you call a computer that can't sing?  A-dell.  (for those of you who are lost, Adele is a singer)

Then there was Twitter time:
Kid 1: "Man, Twitter getting lame now."
Kid 2: "That's cuz you're on there ALL THE TIME!"
Kid 1: "No I'm not!"
Me: "Uh, yes you are. Every time I get on there, I have 50 gajillion tweets all from you. Then you tweet about stupid stuff, 'My toe itches,' 'I'm sleepy,' 'My hair grew a milliliter.'"
Kid 3: "Yeah, and you change your profile picture every 10 minutes.  The one you got up now is funny. *proceeds to imitate pose*
Kid 1: "Shut up! No I don't! Mrs. Scott do you follow Billy? His Twitter name is..."
Kid 3 *jumps up and puts his hand over her mouth.*
Kid 4: "You better quit before you get charged with rape."
Me: "What?!"
Kid 3: "Man, this ain't no white woman.  The most I can get for this is 3-5.  If it was a white woman I'd get 10-20"
Me: *palm to forehead* "What?! You know what, we don't get to talk anymore.  Let's just go to the bathroom."

I mean, where do they learn this from?  Sometimes I want to just go to their houses and observe.  But then, I remember the foolishness that comes out of my kids' mouths and I change my mind. 

My kids are so obsessed with when I'm going to have a baby.  They ask me frequently if I want kids, when am I going to have one, etc. 
Kid: "Mrs. Scott, I want you to have a baby.  Do you want kids?"
Me: "Yes, one day."
Kid: "Does Coach Scott want kids?"
Me: "Yes, he does."
Kid: "Well are y'all even trying to have kids?! Never mind. That was inappropriate, huh?"
Me: "Yup."

"Mrs. Scott, I got smarty-er during Christmas break!"

One of my Facebook friends asked her students to write a paragraph about what teachers do when they go home.  Here's what one kid said:

We obviously die.  What a sad existence...

Parent-Teacher Conference Day

Today was PTC Day.  *cue exciting music*  I knew which parents I was going to see today, so I mentally prepared myself all last week for them.  There were 2 parents in particular that I really prepared for because, well, they're "those" type of parents.  One parent insulted my intelligence and ability on Meet the Teacher Day and the other always makes excuses for her child.  On Meet the Teacher Day, arrogant parent asked if I was an honors quality teacher and what qualified me to teach honors.  I answered him and then asked him if his child was an honors quality student and what qualified her to be in my honors class.  He couldn't answer me and sadly his child has shown me that she is not honors material.  She's irresponsible and immature.  She's a decent kid, just not ready for honors yet.  So anyway, her dad comes in with his same arrogant ways, looking down his nose at me and what not.  We talked and I explained to him what was going on with the kid and showed him her grades.  Silence.  He thought for a second then came up with his "let me turn this around on you" question.  He asked me how I personally felt about his child.  In other words, this wouldn't be happening if you didn't have something personal against my child.  I told him exactly how I felt.  I said she was irresponsible and immature.  She's not a behavior problem and a fairly good kid.  He didn't like my answer so he left.  An hour or so later they were back.  Why?  Because the kid left her purse.  Can you say point proven?

The next parent I expected to see was making excuses mom.  This mom is always making excuses for her child as to why he can't pass or why he's getting in trouble.  She's combative and confrontational, but I was ready.  I pulled out the grade book and explained to her all the good things he's done then moved to the bad.  I got her to let her guard down.  She asked me the typical "what are you doing to help my child" questions and when she saw that I had done all she wanted she broke down and took the blame.  She tried to make excuses saying he had a learning disability and she took him off his medicine.  I asked what was the disability and she said slow learner.  Uh, that's not a specific disability.  Nobody's IEP says "slow learner."  I think she's going to pull him out of regular school and try something else.  He's not going to pass my class this year and he's already behind (this is his 2nd year in English I).  We'll see how this goes.

Usually on PTC Days you gain a better understanding of what's wrong with your kids.  I didn't fully understand the whole "apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" thing until I started teaching.  One particular student of mine doesn't listen and follow directions well.  His dad came by today and asked me the same questions twice, left, and came back to ask the same questions again.  I was like dang! That's why your kids does that.  A mom came by and rambled on and on about stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with anything.  I sat and listened, interjecting every now and then.  At the end she said several times, "I like her."  Her kid does the same thing.  He gets picked on so he's looking for acceptance.  Apparently she is too.  They're both high strung people too.  It's always funny to see where kids get their quirks from.

As with any PTC day you have those parents who are just downright funny.  There is a particular man and his wife who always come see me when they're at the school.  I taught their son twice so I guess they took a liking to me.  Ha! Anyhoo, they always ask about my family and how things are going.  Today was no different. They didn't know that my sexy granny had died and they offered some sweet words of encouragement.  I was almost in tears until the dad said this:  "You know we as Christians (pronounced christy ans) don't have to worry about death.  I was like "Christy ans" What? I couldn't even get my tears out.  SMH

One of the great things about being a teacher is being able to do more than teach.  Kids look to teachers to be more than a teacher.  They look for a friend, a confidant, a counselor, a safe place.  When my granny died my kids were so sweet.  They gave me hugs, encouragement, cards, everything.  Well, one of my student's granny died last week.  Her mom texted me asking if I'd see about her because she was really struggling with the death.  At first I was considering not doing it because I was still not 100% ok with my granny's death.  How am I going to console somebody else when I cry thinking about Granny?  Then I remembered how my kids were there for me when I needed them and how they looked to me for comfort and encouragement.  I agreed to help her and I'm glad I did.  She told me that my messages made her smile and that was enough for me.

Friday during our lesson on subject and verb agreement, my 2nd period class was feeling rather musical.  I had them take a little pop quiz to see if they were paying attention on Tuesday.  While going over the answers the following took place:
Me: "What's the subject?"
Class: "Everybody"
Me: "Ok great, what's the verb?"
Class: "Was"
Me: "Great! Everybody was"
Class: "Kung fu fighting!"
Me: *palm to forehead*

How many weeks until spring break? LOL

"There go Mrs. Scott."

After school I went to Subway to grab a bite to eat before the game.  Apparently a lot of my kids had the same idea.  I could see them inside laughing and cutting up but it was after school so I was going to completely ignore them.  I walk in, minding my own business, ignoring the kids when I hear, "There go Mrs. Scott.  Time to go!" and they all left.  They already know that I don't have time for their foolishness so they corrected their behavior.  Gotta love it!

My 5th period class is obviously used to running whatever teacher/class they have because they come in Room 300 trying to run the show.  I don't know why they feel like they have that right but they try me anyway.  Every time they try me, I strip away a little bit of their pride and they act right.  However, every now and then they forget how to act.  Last week they forgot.  They were loud in the cafeteria, loud walking to lunch, loud walking from lunch, hitting each other, taking their time getting back from lunch, being loud in class, etc.  I just sat back and allowed the foolishness to take place.  Today, I pounced.  Today they had to walk to lunch in a single file line with their "flags" up.  If the line got crooked we stopped and lined back up and tried again.  Once we made it to lunch, I sat at the lunch table with them as they sat in their assigned seats.  When it was time for us to leave, they had to line up on the wall, in front of their peers, with their flags up.  We then proceeded to walk back to class in a single file line.  They were extremely embarrassed and apologized profusely for their behavior.  They will be on punishment for the rest of the week.  I told them if you act like middle schoolers then I'm going to treat you as such.  I don't know why they mess with me...

Fun quotes from Room 300:
"Mrs. Scott, it smells like dried spit in your room!"

Kid 1: "Be careful with my scarf. It was $40!"
Kid 2: "You paid $40 for that?"
Kid 1: "Girl yeah! That's real polyester!"

Me: "Y'all ,they're just gonna go ahead and cancel the rest of the NBA season since they can't come up with an agreement."
Kid: "OMG, Mrs. Scott, I got a problem!"
Me: "What?"
Kid: "How am I supposed to marry a basketball player if there isn't an NBA season?"
Me: *blank stare*

Me: "You're Vietnamese, right?
Kid: "Yes ma'am."
Kid 2: "You're Vietnamese?! I thought you were Asian!"
Me: *palm to forehead*

Since it's the end of the nine weeks and some of my kids' grades are less than perfect, I allowed them to retake 2 test that they failed, with their notes.  I gave them the same test AND I gave them their original test to get the correct answers from.  Why did one of my precious babies make the same grade as he did the 1st go round AND miss 12 different questions?  I mean, how does that happen?  You deserve that C you made. Yup, sure do.

Only 3.6 days left before Christmas break! Woot!

"I didn't know y'all lived together!"

It's been a long time since I last posted.  I've had quite a bit going on this semester, and I've had to make some adjustments.  I've had to adjust to being a wife, teaching honors kids, and I had to cope with the loss of my sexy granny.  Needless to say, I haven't felt like or had much time to blog about my precious children.  I think I've gotten my life in order and I'm ready for action!  Here we go!!

Over the summer I got married. Yay!  I married my high school sweetheart, best friend, and coworker.  I went from being Miss G to Mrs. Scott.  This change has brought about a lot of excitement from the kids, old and new.  My kids this year had my brother-in-law last year for English and they had my mother-in-law for a principal in the 6th grade.  Last year's group of kids swore up and down they knew we were going to get married and were upset because we lied to them about not dating.  Um, #1 we weren't and #2 why are you in my business?  Naturally, they have been full of questions about us.  My favorite question, that I've been asked more than once, is "So, now that you and Coach Scott are married do y'all live together?"  No, we don't live together.  We weren't ready to make that much of a commitment.  Maybe next year.  Silly kids...

Every year I am fortunate enough to teach a very special group of students whom I hold very near and dear to my heart.  I get to teach the repeaters.  With each passing year, the kids have gotten progressively worse; however, this particular group of kids has surprised me.  They actually work without a lot of pushing from me.  It may all be wrong but at least they work.  Last year's kids did jack squat.  And I've even learned a few things from them, mostly illegal things like how to pick locks, roll a joint, and what the new ways to get high are but hey, at least I'm learning... Right?  It's amazing how comfortable they feel with me.  They also know I'll punch them in the throat if they get in trouble.  For example, on Friday one of my sweet babies decided he was going to attempt to skip school.  Of course he was caught.  Who caught him? I did.  He didn't know I spotted and reported him though.  Anyway, after school I saw him as I was leaving.  He immediately dropped his head and said he was sorry.  He already knew I wasn't happy with him without me having to say anything. 

This year has shown me the importance of having a relationship with your students and having their respect.  My kids knew I loved my granny with every fiber of my being.  They knew that her death tore me to pieces.  The Beta Club sold pink ribbons in honor of breast cancer awareness month.  My homeroom alone bought over 100 ribbons in honor of my granny.  It was such a blessing to see them pull their money together to do something that #1 honored my sweet granny and #2 showed me that they're there for me no matter what.  They showered me with cards, hugs, and kind words as I grieved.  It made going back to school a lot easier.  They even made me a card to hang on my wall:

I cried like a baby when they presented this to me.  It's moments like that that make me love what I do despite the foolishness displayed below:

Did you notice the misspelling of bitch?  My kids asked me if I was upset by this.  I laughed and told them no.  Why would I be upset?  The kid couldn't even spell bitch.  Some insult...

That's enough updating for tonight.  I'm going to try my very bestest (yeah, I said bestest) to remember all the other foolishness that has taken place in Room 300 so I can share it with all of you wonderful people:).  Until then, good night!



It's back to school time!!!

It's a new school year and you know what that means???  New kids and new stories!  *cue exciting music*  This year's group of 9th graders have already proved to be fun.  This year I have 1 repeater class, 3 honors classes, and 2 regular classes.  I'm going to have a blast with all of these personalities.  I haven't taught honors kids in like 4 years so I've got to get used to teaching them.  These kids are funny.  The other day one of my precious honors students told me her finger had cataracts.
Kid: "Mrs. Scott, my finger has cataracts.  See?"
Me: "So, your finger has an eye disease?"
Kid: "No wait, it has Alzheimer's."
Me: "So, your finger is forgetful."
Kid: "It has that thing where your hand doesn't work.  Atha... Arth..."
Another kid: "Arthritis?"
Kid: "Yeah that!"
Me: *smh*

Another honors kid told me that another student was going to help her with her homework because she was a good "thinkist."  Uh what? 

Today, one of my little boys decided that today he was going to let his balls drop and be grown.  He asked me if I knew what hanky panky meant.  I played dumb as if I had no clue what he was talking about.  Hanky panky is a sexual term.  Long story short he asked me if my husband and I hanky panky.  Yeah, that was a bad idea.  He was sent home for 3 days.  These kids will learn that I'm not the one to play with.  One of the football coaches said, "I don't know why these kids keep messing with you."  I don't know either.

With a new year comes new coworkers.  This year we got a new principal.  She's a she! I really like her.  She's going to do a great job this year.  She's already started letting these kids know the deal.  She's going to fit right in with the THS staff. 

I think that's it for today.  I'm excited about this new year!  Oo wa! Oo wa!

A very "dramastical" entry

A few weeks ago I had a parent conference with the father of a son who's failing my class.  Well, he's failing all of his classes but that's neither here nor there.  Anyway, by the time all of us (teachers) had said what we needed to say the dad just couldn't take it anymore.  He told his son, "Son, you need to make some dramastical changes in the next few weeks!"  Uh, dramastical? What is that?  I usually understand the kids better after I meet the parents.

Yesterday was a fun filled day at good ol' THS. We had the neverending English II subject area test and a fun tornado.  We had a blast!  We didn't leave school until 4:45 because the buses were late getting to the school.  I wouldn't drive in a tornado either. Here's a picture of what we saw:

(photo courtesy of E. Foster)

It was pretty scary.  While this thing was swirling around outside our school the kids' ADHD was swirling around on the inside.  They had already been sitting in one place all day due to testing then a tornado shows up.  Classroom control was thrown out the window and swept away by the tornado.  It was ridiculous. 

In wake of the tornado I figured I should probably go over the safety procedures with my kids.  I told them the whole get on the floor and put your head between your knees speech they've been hearing since kindergarten.  Well, one of my students felt that she needed to assist me in the safety drill.  She told me that you're supposed to get under the desk if the building was on fire.  *blank stare*

My cousin teaches in Memphis and I was sharing with her about the "dramastical" changes that needed to take place in the next few weeks and she had a similar story of parents butchering the English language.  One of her students was apparently bullying the other kids, so they scheduled a parent conference.  During the conference the parent says, "I've talked to her about bulletin these kids."  Wait, what? Bulletin?  I think you mean bullying.  Yeah, there's a difference. 

4 more Mondays!!!  Oo wa! Oo wa!

Oh man!

It's been a month since I've last updated!  It's been a pretty stressful interesting month.  For starters my kid who had a mental breakdown came back to school.  Well, she wasn't ready to be back at school quite yet.  She had a moment (best way I can put it) in my classroom and it really had me on edge.  I cried for about 30 minutes after it was all said and done.  My 5th period kids handled the situation really well.  They were terrified but they remained as calm as they could.  We talked about it next class period and they were so sweet.  Bless their hearts.  She had another moment Monday and it was worse than what happened in my class.  When I found out about it I was instantly drained.  I just wanted to sit and cry.  So I did what any normal person would do.  I called my mom.  She calmed me down as much as possible so I could make it through my class.  The next day I had a kid in my room that was so upset by something that she was extremely tense and shaking.  I also had a kid who said he was going home and take 5 Lortabs.  Being the concerned teacher who was already on edge that I am I went to get the counselor. When I get to her office, the district psychologist is there.  I knocked on the door.  Dr. So and So shoos me away and says "Go away!"  Naturally, this makes me go to West Jackson on her.  Plus I hadn't read I Corinthians 13 that morning.  Anyway, I digress.  I tell Dr. Fancy Pants not to tell me to go away and that I'm an adult, not one of these children.  She proceeds to tell me that she's in the middle of a session and to go away again.  I told her again that I'm an adult and that she will not tell me to go away.  I told the counselor that I needed to see her ASAP.  Dr. Fancy Pants come out of the office trying to reprimand me as a child.  I told her that I was an adult and will be talked to as such.  If she could not address me as an adult then she shouldn't address me at all.  We can talk adult to adult or not at all.  She continued to talk to me in a condescending manner so I walked off.  I heard her ask who I was and I went back to tell her that I was Miss Griffin.  Insert boo boo face.  She was at the school to "counsel" all people that were involved with the kid from earlier and I was next.  Yeah, she ruined that.  She sent her apologies my way and said I could call her if I needed to talk. Uh, why would I want to talk to her?  I called on Jesus, then I called my momma.  My momma came up to the school that day.  Yes, I was stressed out for several days after all of that but don't come trying to help if you're going to be condescending.  Even if I was a child, she shouldn't talk to a child that way.  I ended up taking a mental health day to get myself together.  I couldn't fully enjoy it because everybody's favorite administrator had someone call me 5 times concerning a child that had gotten suspended from school.  If I didn't answer the phone the 1st 2 times you called I obviously didn't want to talk.  I love my kids to pieces but I needed that break.  Don't call me on my day off about something that could have been avoided had the kid did what he was supposed to do. 

Well spring has definitely sprung at my school.  The 1st day of spring was a good one!  My kids were full fledged SILLY.  OMG.  They've been eating gerbil food because they thought it was trail mix.  They told me which brand and flavor dog treats taste the best.  Oh and did you know that it's ok to eat rabbit as long as it wasn't your pet?  You can't have a pet rabbit or previously had one either.  That's just weird.  Tuesday was even better.  There was a, uh, lover's quarrel in the courtyard that was just beyond nuts.  Girls fighting over girls, boys wanting to be girls helping the girls fight, everybody just all over the place.  Anyway, they get all the parents called to come get the girls and the parents had some things to say... LOUDLY.  I was sitting at my desk while my kids were working.  All of a sudden I heard all kinds of profane language.  I jump up from my desk because I thought the girls had gotten back into it.  Nope, it was a momma.  She was going to whoop everybody's *** (her words).  I promptly went back in my classroom and locked the door.  She wasn't coming over to Room 300!  Random exciting events like this continued to happen the rest of the week. 

Today, my repeaters were especially silly, if that's any different than normal.  Somehow the subject of hygiene came up while they were working on their subject verb agreement activity.  I was telling them that they have to wash because nobody wanted to smell them.  I continued to say that if you're heavier than most you have to move stuff around and wash under stuff.  Sometimes you even have to put deodorant in places other than your armpits.  During this conversation a kid leans over to a chubby kid and tells him, "Ay, when you get out the tub make sure you lift up your man boobs and put some deodorant under there."  LOL.  Now y'all may be wondering why I'm laughing but you have to know these 2.  They fuss like this all day everyday.  They're 2 peas in a pod.  If they're separated, they're sick.  They have to be in each other's face all the time.  It was just so random that it made me laugh.  Then once everybody got settled the same kid caught something and just jumped up and started dancing.  There was no music.  He just got up and started jigging.  All I could do was watch in utter confusion.  I missed what happened.  It did make me giggle. 

My other classes are writing essays.  One kid wanted to know how to spell drastic.  I told her to look in the dictionary.  She does that with no luck.  I ask her if she was looking in the dra's and she had this puzzled look on her face. 
Kid: "Look in the Ds for drastic?"
Me: "Yes, it's spelled drastic."
Kid: "Oh... I was looking in the Js."
Me:  "For Jurassic huh?"
Kid:  "Yeah."

I don't what's more sad.  The fact that I knew where she was going with that or the fact that she thought drastic was spelled with a J.  Another kid asked if Oklahoma was a state or a college.  This is our future!  8 more Mondays people, 8 more Mondays.