Kid: "Mrs. Scott, you look bright and sunshine-y today."
Me: "Thank you if you're giving me a compliment."
Kid: "I'm not, unless looking like a big ball of fire is your thing."
Me: *blank stare*
I mean, really kid?
A few weeks ago we did our daily independent practice and one of my precious babies didn't do as well as he thought he should. So he did what any 9th grader would do. He cried. Real tears. That dripped on his shirt. Now before you drag me over the coals for being insensitive and uncaring and whatever else you can think of as an outsider looking in, I know for a fact that this was a classic case of overreacting. This kid cried when I told him that I was going to write him a detention if he was late again. The same kid who cried when I told him to stop talking while I was talking. The same kid who almost pooped his pants when I told him he misspelled a word on his information sheet. This kid is EXTREMELY sensitive and I can't deal. I was obviously absent the day we went over Educational Sensitivity because I don't have time. He's slowly toughening up though. I believe part of it has to do with the fact that I ignore this behavior. I also gave him a pep talk. I told him to cut all that crying out and use it as motivation to do better the next time. He gave a tearful and snotty "Yes ma'am" and we moved on. I swear they don't make kids like they used to.
The other day, while taking notes, one of my students made a really smart joke. I laughed because it was funny and because it was so smart that his classmates didn't get it and thought that he was dumb.
Me: "Daniel Defoe wrote his first book at age 59."
Kid: "Daniel Defoe, that's like Daniel De Enemy."
Me: *chuckles*"yeah, you're right."
Other kids: "What? That's stupid."
Me: "You probably shouldn't make such smart jokes in here. Your classmates might not get them and they'll think you're dumb."
Smart kids: "Oh we got it. It just wasn't funny."
Precious baby who didn't get it: "Well, it's just stupid. Who is Daniel De Enemy? And what does he have to do with what we're talking about?"
Whole class: *falls out laughing and tries to explain*
Me: "Y'all, don't worry about it. Let her continue to think we're dumb because we get the smart joke."
Precious: "Ok, we can stop talking about it because I feel left out and it's not fair that y'all keep talking about the joke and everybody doesn't get it."
They tried to explain it to her for a good 10 minutes and it just wasn't clicking. She got madder and madder the more they tried to explain it. I think I laughed harder than I should have, but it was hilarious.
I recently celebrated my 30th birthday and I did what any normal teacher does and took off work. What? Y'all work on your birthdays? Yeah, I'm not about that life. I take off. It's a holiday! My momma took off to have me, so why shouldn't I take off? Makes sense to me. Anyway, when I returned to school my kids and all of their nosiness wanted to know what I did for my birthday.
Kid: "Mrs. Scott, what did you do for your birthday?"
Me: "Well, I..."
Kid 2: *starts singing "Birthday Sex"*
Me: "Get out."
Kid 2: "But I didn't say the "s" word."
Why are these kids so inappropriate?
My seniors took their English II exam last week. They all said that it was easy and they feel like they did well. That's always a good sign.
One of my coworker, who teaches computer classes, had a student turn in this jewel. I laughed extremely hard. Bless her little non spelling, sounding words out heart!
(courtesy of L.T.)